The Camping Trip
by Ryuuen Kurai
Summary: Day One: the FY cast meet together and play a classic game of Truth or Dare with interesting results... Day Two: Insanity ensues as the seishi and mikos prepare for another .:ahem:. controversial game... So much so that they even argue with ME!?R&R onegai
1. Day One: So It Begins

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

_Fushigi Yuugi _belongs to Yuu Watase-sama. I do NOT deny that. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This is insane! I wonder _why _I'm posting this up!

THE CAMPING TRIP 

By: Ryuuen

Day One

            It was a wonderful day. The sun was shining merrily from behind the boughs of the sakura tree. The summer-sweet wind blew softly, trysting with its boughs. The birds were chirping harmoniously, their veritable composition echoing throughout the place. The Suzaku shichiseishi were sitting leisurely under the said tree enjoying the relative silence as Tasuki and Tamahome engaged themselves in their usual morning brawl, Chichiri debated with Mitsukake on what color went better with pink, blue or green, Chiriko read a 50,000 page textbook on Canon Law which his Yui-sensei lent him while petting a napping Tama-neko, Nuriko gazed lovingly albeit droolingly (Is there such a word?) at the Emperor of Konan as the Emperor also gazed lovingly albeit droolingly at his own reflection. Yes, it was a perfectly normal day indeed until…

            "What the?" Tamahome stopped in mid-punch and regarded the intruders with vengeful eyes. 

            Tasuki heaved a sigh of relief and firmly vowed to kiss those blessed people who saved him from his doom and fainted upon learning whom he intended to kiss.

            Chichiri stopped amidst a very decided, "BLUE, no da," and gasped open-mouthed.

            Mitsukake frowned, either from shock upon finding who the intruders were or from dismay upon losing his debate to Chichiri.

            Nuriko clenched his fists and stood up, knocking the Emperor's mirror to the ground.

            Hotohori seethed as he stood up, though it isn't certain whether it was out of annoyance for the intruders or for Nuriko who had just broken his royal mirror. 

            There was a very tense silence, which was broken by a very annoyed, "OH SHIT!!!"

            The Suzaku shichiseishi as well as the intruders turned to find a very flustered Chiriko.

            "I lost my page! Yui-sensei's gonna kill me for this!"

            Both parties sweatdropped.

            (Author rolls her eyes.)

            Someone loudly clearing his/her throat broke the silence yet again. The Suzaku shichiseishi snapped out of it.

            "Now where were we?" Tamahome said, cracking his knuckles. "So…"

            "…"     

"So…"

            "…"

            "So…"

            "…"

            "Oh damn it! I forgot my fucking line!"

            Massive sweatdrops and facefaults.

            Random people rush in to show him the script.

            "Oh yeah. Now I remember," he exclaimed then said seriously. "So we meet again, Seiryuu shichiseishi."

            "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Suzaku Star Warriors…" Nakago remarked with a smirk.

            "What are YOU doing here, Nakago? As Emperor of Konan, I forbid you from entering into MY territory without permission," Hotohori seethed. (He wasn't still over his broken mirror… -.-;)

            "Yui-sama sent for us. What are YOU doing here?"

            "Well…"

            "TAMAHOME!!!" an annoyingly familiar, ear splitting, nerve wrenching, unbelievably loud, intolerably perky, unpleasantly screeching… Oh, all right already! You get the point… voice sounded.

            The mentioned seishi's ears perked up as he heard his beloved. "MIAKA!!!"

            The two lovers ran dramatically into each other's arms before engaging themselves in another brain-rattling, earth-shaking, show-stopping…

            (Author: Excuse me a moment… (runs to sink and pukes) Ahemm… as I was saying…)

            morning kiss.

            All those present sweatdropped and Yui Hongou rolled her eyes while sipping her coffee nonchalantly. 

            "Honestly! Don't those two ever tire of each other?"

            It was Suboshi's turn to perk his ears up and exclaim, "YUI-SAMA!!!" while running towards her in an attempt to hug her. However, the very much agile Seiryuu no Miko neatly sidestepped his attempt and he crashed not-too-gently into the tree.

            Massive sweatdrop yet again.

            "Daijoubu ka, Otouto?" Amiboshi asked, cradling his dazed twin.

            "Mou, Yui-sama. I didn't know you missed me this much," mumbled the stunned Seiryuu seishi

            "Baka," Yui commented coldly.

            Seeing as the two priestesses showed no sign of telling their rather perplexed seishi as to why they were summoned and what they were thinking when they summoned them _together_, Hotohori cleared his throat importantly and approached the Priestess of Seiryuu seeing that their miko was rather… ahemm… preoccupied at the moment.

            "Anou, Yui-san. Why have we been summoned here today?"

            Yui took another sip from her cup of coffee before replying solemnly. "If you must know, Hotohori-san. Miaka and I have planned a camping trip for the weekends."

            Hotohori flinched slightly at the honorific but daring not to comment, he voiced out his doubts, "Nani?"

            All those assembled, except those two making out in a corner, listened in.

            Yui sighed. "I know, I know. You'd rather go to hell than spend five days with each other…"

            "Like hell we do," mumbled everyone's favorite hotheaded bandit, recovering from the mere thought of kissing Ashitare. "Just who fucking thought about this piece of shit anyway?" 

            Yui glared at him before continuing, "But we think that it would be quite an enriching experience for all of us."

            Silence, except for soft moans and groans from those two making out in a corner.

            "So?"

            "If it is what you wish, Yui-sama," Nakago mumbled begrudgingly.

            Yui turned to face the other group who hung their heads in defeat.

            "Alright. That'll be all for now. We'll be leaving on Friday. Hotohori-san, could you offer them some rooms to stay in and accommodations for the next two days?"

            Hotohori fumed. He didn't exactly enjoy the thought of sleeping under the same roof as their enemies, no matter how wide the said roof was. He also didn't like being ordered around nor being referred to as "Hotohori-san," unmindful of his title by people. He disliked it the most when the said person turned out to be  the Seiryuu no Miko. Now if she only weren't Miaka's best friend… This wasn't his lucky day. And there still was the broken mirror…

* * *

            "I'm bored!" a very annoyed Suzaku priestess exclaimed, reclining against her lover.

            "…"

            "I'm bored!" complained everyone's favorite redheaded fang boy.

            "…"

            "I'm bored!" yawned a very sleepy Nuriko.

            "…"

            "Meow! Meow!" Tama-neko meowed.

            Yui suppressed a sarcastic comment and, withdrawing her attention from a classic paperback novel she was reading and plastering an infatuated albeit drooling seishi undecoratively against the wall (you all should know who HE is), she replied with a sigh, "So? What do you want to do, Miaka?"

            Miaka withdrew from the arms of her boyfriend and assumed a thoughtful look, which later began transfiguring into a wee evil smile.

            Yui frowned as she realized what her friend had in mind. "No, you don't mean…"

            "Yes, I do. We're gonna play TRUTH or DARE!!!" she announced triumphantly.

            Yui paled. She hadn't gotten over her last dare the last time they played the game. All those assembled, aside from Suboshi who thoroughly enjoyed his last dare albeit at his miko's expense, mimicked her expression as similar memories filled their minds.

            "Oh no!!!" they cried simultaneously.

            "Oh yes!!!" Miaka countered.

            "Says who?" they demanded.

            "Says me and Ryuuen-sama…"

            "I didn't say anything!" Nuriko exclaimed as the others fixed him with murderous looks.

            "No, the _other _Ryuuen-sama…"

            Massive clueless looks.

            "Oh, that would be Author-sama, ne, Miaka-chan?" Chiriko exclaimed.

            The others looked at him and paled even more. They all knew what that meant.

            (Author: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

            "Oh alright, Miaka. I agree to play your game as long as I get to choose first," came the irresolute reply of her best friend.

            "Nani? Oh all right, Yui-chan," Miaka beamed.

            Yui raked a pale hand through her short blond tresses and sighed. _Better get this over with! _"Okay, Suboshi. Truth or dare?"

            The infatuated youth broke from his obsessive stupor and regarded his miko in bewilderment. "Nani, Yui-sama?"

            Yui nodded and repeated the question.

            Suboshi's eyes lit up and his pulse began racing. SHE chose HIM! SHE chose HIM _FIRST_! Did that mean…

            "DARE!!!" he yelled loudly, tingling with anticipation.

            "Damn it, Yoyo Boy! We know you're fucking excited but do you have to be so fucking loud about it?" Tasuki retorted, plunging his little finger into his ear and inspecting his thoroughly broken eardrum.

            "Yeah, no da. Your voice was loud enough to wake the dead (i.e. Ashitare and Miboshi), no da," Chichiri seconded doing the same.

            Ignoring the crude remarks, Yui assumed a somber expression. "Alright, Suboshi," she paused for the effect of it all, seeing as all those assembled were all ears and quite interested in what she had in mind. _Was the ice girl finally giving in? _they thought. "I dare you NOT to choose dare the next time someone chooses you."

            The entire populace toppled bodily to the floor, each wishing that it was to them that that particular dare was made.

            "That's it?" Nuriko demanded in exasperation.

            Yui nodded.

            Suboshi made a face, quite disappointed that she hadn't asked for much more, but muttered a weak, "Hai, Yui-sama." He'd just have to depend on the others to… and then it struck him. He paled.

            Yui, noticing the sudden shift in his color, surmised that the significance of her dare had finally sank in and hid a smirk behind her open book.

            "Nice move, Yui-san," the emperor applauded. This girl sure had brains.

            "Oh, so that was why Yui-sensei chose to initiate the game and prematurely selected Suboshi-san," Chiriko mused.

            "That's just the fucking reason why I hate fucking females," the red-headed Suzaku seishi muttered under his breath.

            "Oh, so does that mean you're gay, no da?" Chichiri asked curiously. _Too _curiously.

            (Author: I wonder why… ¬.¬;)

            Tasuki flushed as red as his hair.

            Meanwhile, Amiboshi was comforting his stunned twin, wondering whether to admire to get mad at his miko. "There, there, now, Otouto. I know Yui-sama is just testing you."

            Nakago smirked. He was such a good influence on his miko. _NOT_!

            Miaka, for her part, in an attempt to get the game going said, "Sumimasen, minna. Who's next?"

            Suboshi raised his hand meekly. "I am. Tasuki, truth or dare?"

            The mountain bandit, attempting to avoid any further interrogation as to his gender, proclaimed boldly, "Dare!"

            "Alright," Suboshi muttered. "Approach who you think is the sexiest guy in the room and make out with him in the bathroom for fifteen minutes."

            Tasuki paled and flushed in record time.

            Yui, who was reading at the moment, decided that she had a lot of time to finish her reading later and that this was too juicy to miss. That and the fact that she was obliged to cover her protégé's ears before things got unpleasant.

            "So…*snicker*… who's the…*snort* … lucky… *guffaw*… guy?" Tamahome teased.

            "Shut up, obake-chan!" Tasuki retorted, flushing even redder than his hair as he stood up and made his way towards…

            "Da…" Chichiri exclaimed as an enraged Suzaku seishi pulled him not so gently into the adjacent room.

            Silence.

            "So…" Miaka began.

            "Race you to the bathroom!" Nuriko announced.

            And chaos ensued.

Fifteen minutes later…

            "Alright," Tasuki muttered with an evil glint in his eye as he sat down. "It's payback time!"

            "Anou, Tasuki-san. Where is your shirt?" Chiriko piped up.

            Yui groaned and Tasuki sweatdropped. This kid was either too innocent or too observant.

            "Tasuki-san, here's your shirt, no da," an equally flustered monk as he pulled the offending article from where it was tucked in his pants. 

            The others exchanged knowing looks. 

            "Ahemm…" Tasuki loudly cleared his throat. "Amiboshi, truth or dare?"

            "Nani?" the gentler twin asked before hesitantly croaking out, "Dare."

            "Okay…" Tasuki began, eyeing Suboshi evilly. "I dare you to kiss Yui-san for fifteen minutes in FRONT of Suboshi!"

            "Nani?" came the almost immediate response from the three.

            Tasuki smirked. He was _too _good.

            Yui was the first to regain her composure and, putting her book aside and instructing Mitsukake sternly to keep both Chiriko's eyes and ears covered, deftly stood up and walked towards the flushed twin. _At least it were Amiboshi_, she consoled herself. Amiboshi did the same, flushing even more profusely as he inched closer to her. Suboshi dove between Hotohori and Nuriko, shielding his eyes in the process. The emperor moved away haughtily as Tamahome and Nuriko, enjoying this as much as Tasuki, wrenched him forcefully from his place of refuge.

            "No, no, I WON'T look!!!" he shouted hysterically and tried shut his eyes to no avail for Miboshi had cursed him with immobility upon Nakago's orders.

            "That little twerp is good for something, after all," Tamahome commented.

Fifteen minutes later…

            "Mmph…  Amiboshi… gotta stop…" a completely flushed priestess moaned.

            "Mmph… Yui-sama… don't wanna stop…" Amiboshi moaned in reply, too caught up in the moment to notice his brooding twin.

            "Aniki, Yui-sama… how could you?" the forlorn teen wept and much more so when he was released.

            The mentioned two drew back with much visible effort and muttered an embarrassed "gomen ne" to each other. Looking warily at her charge, Yui heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that Mitsukake did keep his word and it seemed that her "student" was totally oblivious to her ordeal. She then reassumed her previous position, trying to yank her disoriented clothing into place as discreetly as possible. Amiboshi, on the other hand, after trying to gather what was left of his dignity and assume some semblance of decency was faced with the strenuous task of appeasing his younger brother who kept wailing and screeching like a baby.

            "My, my, Amiboshi. Didn't know you had it in you," Nuriko mock praised.

            Amiboshi blushed even more and his twin wailed just a little bit louder.   

            "So, Yui-chan. How was it?" Miaka teased.

            "_You _should know," her best friend insinuated.

            "Nani? What was that supposed to mean?" Tamahome demanded, eyeing the Seiryuu flute player dangerously.

            "Nothing," Miaka answered abruptly.

            "Oh, really?" Yui quirked a brow.

             "YUI-CHAN!!!" It was during times like this that Miaka wondered whether Yui was her best friend or worst enemy. Probably both.

            "Alright, minna-san. Settle down. It's Amiboshi's turn," she announced.

            "Oh? Right… Hotohori-sama, truth or dare?"

            The emperor drew his attention from his brand-new mirror and quirked an elegant brow. "Dare," he answered airily.

            "Okay. Hotohori-sama, I dare you to let Miboshi and Ashitare play with your hair for a whole minute."

            "Nani?" exclaimed the emperor indignantly before paling, horror evident on his visage. _Me, the most beautiful man on earth be touched by those… urgh… things…Such an outrage! _He looked at the Seiryuu seishi as if to say, "Am I _really _ supposed to do this?"

            Amiboshi nodded solemnly.

            Nakago hid a smile.

            Soi grinned evilly.

            Tomo cackled annoyingly and, for the first time, was NOT zapped by lightning.

            The two freaks looked at each other suggestively.

            Suboshi was too depressed to notice but would have gloated if he did.

            Their miko fought back a rather undignified snort.

            This was something they didn't want to miss.

            Nuriko, on the other hand, looked sympathetically at his emperor.

            Chiriko trembled at the mere thought of being _touched _by Miboshi.

            Miaka watched on horrified.

            Tamahome stifled a smirk.

            "Whose side are you on?" Hotohori demanded, frowning at his fellow Suzaku seishi. 

Meanwhile…

            "Otouto, I'm sorry," Amiboshi pleaded, once again oblivious to the ordeal he caused.

            "Aniki, how could you?" Suboshi cried dejectedly, oblivious to the ordeal as well.

            Sighing, Hotohori unbound his silky mane and bowed submissively as the two freaks began their work. 

A minute later…

            MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The entire room burst into laughter at the sight of the disheveled royalty. (I'm not good at describing things so go figure for yourselves.) Yes, even the twins who finally (kissed? and) made up.

            "I'll get you for this!!!" Hotohori cursed no one in particular and hurriedly grabbed his royal brush and brand-new mirror to undo the damage.

            (Author: .:gulp:.)

A few minutes later…

            "Anou… gomen, Hotohori-sama…" Miaka managed to say amidst fits of giggles. "It's your turn…"

            "Alright, I choose Tamahome."

            (Author: .:heaves a sigh of relief:.)

            "Me?" the surprised seishi asked.

            Hotohori nodded.

            "Alright, your Highness. Dare."

            Yui eyed the two warily and chose to cover Chiriko's ears yet again to be safe.

            "Yui-sensei, why are you covering my ears," the youngest Suzaku seishi wondered.

            "I'll tell you when you're older," his mentor told him.

            "Oh alright," he replied, submerging himself in his text.

            Hotohori couldn't help but smirk. "I was hoping you'd say THAT… Alright, for your dare. I dare you to make out with Nakago in the bathroom for twenty minutes."

            Tamahome paled.

            Soi paled even more than Tamahome.

            Miaka paled even more than Soi.

            Tomo commented on how it was supposed to be him instead of Tamahome.

            Tomo paled even more than the three combined moments before multiple bolts of lightning hit him.

            Nakago smirked and proceeded towards the bathroom.

            Tamahome gulped and followed suit.

            Silence.

            Another scramble for the bathroom keyhole.

Twenty minutes later…

            Nakago emerged first, none the worse for wear and seated himself calmly beside Soi who quickly flung herself at him. Tamahome followed, looking quite decent himself, though horribly shaken.

            "Miaka…" his lips quivered and the ever-valiant Suzaku seishi crumbled into his miko's arms.

            Nakago smirked.

            Everyone sweatdropped.

Minutes later…

            "Alright, it's my turn," Tamahome announced, wiping away remnants of tears. "Chiriko, truth or dare?"

            The child genius assumed a thoughtful look and muttered to himself, "Of I choose dare, I would have to subject myself to unnecessary interrogation regardless of the humiliation. However, if I choose dare, I'd be subjecting myself to the most horrid form of torture. However…"

            Everyone turned to Yui who immediately sweatdropped and said sweetly to her protégé," Chiriko-chan, why don't you just pick one?"

            "Nani? Oh… I guess I'd choose truth then."

            "Oh? Okay, Chiriko… Tell us, who do you like more… Miaka or Yui?"

            "Damn it! What kind of fucking question is that? Isn't it obvious that the kid is obsessed with Yui?" commented everyone's favorite bandit.

            Chiriko sweatdropped. "Umm… Tasuki-san's presumption is right. Yui-sensei has been the best mentor I have ever had. Gomen nasai Miaka-sama."

            Yui beamed and patted his head fondly.

            Miaka sighed.

            "Don't worry, Miaka. You're still the best for me," Tamahome consoled.

            "Hai. Chiriko, it's you're turn now…"

            "Nani? Oh, then I pick Yui-sensei."

            "Alright, truth," the miko replied.

            "Yui-sensei, what is the cosine of pi multiplied by the tangent of an angle of a right triangle whose opposite side measures 4 units and whose adjacent side measure 2 units expressed in scientific notation with three significant numbers?"

            Massive clueless looks.

            (Author: .:reaches for scientific calculator:.)

            "That would be 3.49 times ten squared negative."

            Massive blinks.

            (Author: .:blinks:. She's right!)

            Chiriko nodded, satisfied.

            Massive facefaults.

            "Anou…" Yui began, trying to break the monotony. "It's my turn again, ne? Alright, Soi."

            "Hai, Yui-sama," the ONLY female seishi replied, still refusing to let go of Nakago.

            "Truth or dare?"

            "Dare," she answered dreamily as visions of spending an hour with Nakago in the bathroom swam across her mind.

            "Okay," Yui grinned evilly in a manner that would have put Nakago to shame. "Make out with Tomo for five minutes straight in front of everybody." Then she added on second thought, "Mitsukake-san, would you kindly take Chiriko outside for a moment?"

            Mitsukake did as told.

            Tomo and Soi stood up simultaneously and fixed their miko with looks of disbelief. "You want ME to kiss HIM/HER?"

            Yui nodded, the evil grin still in place.

            Tomo's jaw dropped.

            Soi nearly fainted.

            Nonetheless…

            "Oh alright. Let's better get this over with!" the enraged Seiryuu seishi muttered and with that grabbed a struggling Tomo into her arms and kissed him forcefully.

            All those assembled: o.O;

Five… no make than ten… no, FIFTEEN whole minutes later…

            "Tomo," Soi intoned breathlessly as she ended her kiss. "I didn't know you were such a great kisser…"

            "You're not bad yourself, Miss Soi…" he commented equally breathless. "For a girl…"

            "BAKA!!!"

A minute later…

            "Alright, it's my turn now. Yui-sama, truth or dare?"

            Yui was about to answer "Truth" when Miaka caught her eye. "Oh alright, dare."

            "Okay, I dare you to…Nani?"

            Miaka crawled up next to Soi and whispered something in her ear which made the two girls laugh.

            Yui frowned. What were they getting at?

            "Alright, Yui-sama," Soi began. "I dare you to change into and wear Tomo's clothing for the whole night."

            "Nani?" the unfortunate miko exclaimed. "What do you want me to do THAT for?"

            "Nothing," Miaka answered sweetly. "Just get in there and change into these."

            Yui sighed and left for the bathroom.

            Silence.

            "You know I have always wanted to see her in a male outfit in as much as she has short hair…" Nuriko mused.

            All those assembled: o.O

            Nuriko sweatdropped. "What?"

A few minutes later, the door from the adjacent room opened to reveal…

            "Oh my god!"

            Yui stepped out clad in her seishi's garb and raked her hand through her hair, more out of habit than for effect but…

            Silence.

            "Is… that… Yui-san?" Nuriko asked shakily, forgetting that it was impolite to point.

            "Hai," Miaka replied trying to control her laughter. 

            "Really?" Tomo joined in.

            "Hai," this was too much that the Suzaku no Miko finally gave up and burst into gales of laughter at the faces of the two.

            Silence.

            And then…

            "KAWAII BISHOUNEN!!!" the two homosexuals exploded. Well, technically they're gay but the current condition makes them bi. Then again, weren't they attracted to Yui because she looked like a guy? Then again _again_, isn't Yui a girl? (Note: Yui probably would look more like Haruka Tenno of  Sailor Moon when she cross-dresses so…)  

            Yui quirked a brow.

            The two drooled.

Hotohori looked away in disgust.

            Soi muttered something about a bisexual painted freak.

            Chiriko, who had returned to the room in time, blinked innocently.

            Amiboshi's jaw dropped.

            Suboshi fainted both from shock and from the realization that his Yui-sama looked even more bishounen than him.

            The rest facefaulted.

            "Well, she _is _kinda bishounen, no da," Chichiri admitted hastily.

            "Nani?" the others demanded.

            "Nothing, no da," the blue-haired monk replied and sweatdropped.

            Yui fumed. "Alright, minna-san. You've had your fun. I believe it's…"

            A timid knock sounded.

            "Come in," Hotohori said authoritatively.

            A servant maid came forth, bowed to her emperor and reported that dinner was served.

            "FOOD!!! Where? Where?" Miaka yelled and before the emperor could reply, the said miko had already made a beeline for the dining area with Tamahome hot on her trail.

            The rest sweatdropped.

            "Oh well, I guess we'd better get going if we want our share spared," Yui said with a sigh, trying to ignore the curious stares everyone including the servant maid had been giving her. This was too much. _Now I know how Hotohori feels._ "Come on."

            "Hai, Yui-sama…" not one, not two, but three dazed voice answered.

            Yui sweatdropped.

            Soi muttered "Baka!" as she zapped Tomo on her way out with Nakago.

            Hotohori gave her a sympathetic look this time that seemed to say, "I get that all the time."

            Chiriko blinked innocently again.

            Mitsukake frowned and led the bewildered kid into the dining room.

            Tasuki pulled a still-drooling Chichiri away.

            Amiboshi facefaulted and walked off.

            The two freaks were their freaky little selves going on with their freaky little ways with that freakish attitude of theirs.

            Yui sighed yet again as she stood up and proceeded after Amiboshi, followed closely by Nuriko and Suboshi since Tomo had still yet to recover from (literal, electrical) shock. Edging closely albeit unintentionally towards Amiboshi, she whispered discreetly, "Aren't Nuriko-san and Tomo supposed to be gay?"

            "Well, Yui-sama," he began also in a whisper. "Technically, they're gay but the current condition makes them bi. Then again, if they were attracted to you because you looked like a guy, doesn't that make them still gay? Then again _again_, since you _are _a girl, then I guess they're bi after all."

            "Good induction," the stunned miko commented.

            By this time, Suboshi had noticed how close his twin was to his Yui-sama and, brandishing his Ryuusei, sped off after his Aniki.

            Yui shook her head. "Don't those two ever grow up?"

            "I don't think they are going to for the next couple of years," Hotohori commented airily.

            "Yeah, especially Yoyo boy with that huge crush on you…" Nuriko joined in.

            "Look who's talking!" Hotohori retorted.

            Nuriko flushed. "Hey I can't help it. Yui-san is far more bishounen than some guys out there."

            Yui flushed at the comment and looked away.

            Hotohori looked at his two companions and sighed. Somehow this was turning to be quite disturbing…

            Okay… that was quite long… so, what do you think? Shall I make it Yui-Amiboshi, Yui-Hotohori, or Yui-Nuriko? Yui-Suboshi is totally out of the question since I somehow feel that he's too immature for someone as intellectual as her. Oh and there'd be a Tomo-Soi and the usual (read: sickening) Tamahome-Miaka pairing… Please bear with me… Reviews are wanted, needed, craved for… That as well as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism… I really hope to get none of the "Yui sucks!" type. Yui happens to be my fave character, FYI! That being said, I bid you farewell. Till the next chap… Did I mention this was a series? 


	2. The Chapter That Was Or Will Be

Please refer to Chapter One: Day One for the STANDARD DISCLAIMER.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Ohayo, minna-san. Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad you liked my fic. Anyway, the poll on who ends up with Yui is still up but for an update, it looks like Amiboshi-san's winning over Hotohori-san and Nuriko-san and I repeat, Suboshi-san is DEFINITELY out of the question. Whether you agree, disagree or have other suggestions, tell me through your reviews. And since, the poll is not yet concluded, please bear with little old Yui-Hotohori loving me, just for this chapter, please… I'll give you a nice shiny quarter… Oh and I know that the image of Tomo and Soi together is mentally disturbing but what can I say… I AM a mentally disturbed individual. Come to think of it, ANY author who writes this sort of fics has to be mentally disturbed, ne? ^ ^;;

Oh well, on to the fic… Let's see how I torture… I mean, manipulate… I mean make the characters do what I WANT  them to do even if what I want them to do is not what they usually do…

Oh and by the way, what's the primary genre of this fic again?

Massive sweatdrops from cast.

THE CAMPING TRIP 

By: Ryuuen

Day Two

The Chapter That Was… Or Will Be…

            It was dawn in the Universe of the Four Gods. The sun was beginning to peek out from the horizon, which was, in reality, the Eastern region of Kutou, Seiryuu country, casting its majestic rays all around. A playful morning breeze blew, trysting with early birds on the hunt as well as the nondescript articles of clothing early farmers wore as they treaded down the dusty paths towards the fields that they towed. The hills were a lush color of green and…

Yui: .:clearing her throat:. Ahemm… excuse me, Author-sama…

Author: Nani?

Yui: Please enlighten me as to what those things you are describing have to do with the actual story?

Author: …. .:shrugs:. Nothing.

Yui: Well, then why don't you get down to the story? It's freezing out here! (shown standing out of her room in a drafty corridor in her… well, sleeping garment…)

Author: Alright… Demo, Yui-san… why are you standing out of your room in a drafty corridor in your… well, sleeping garment…

Yui: How should _I _know? _You_, Ryuuen-sama, are the author of this damn fic, are you not? You _made _me stand out of my room in a drafty corridor in my… well, sleeping garment…

Author: Now, now, Yui-san. Cursing isn't allowed.

Yui: And you expect me to believe THAT! You have Tasuki swearing in every single one of his lines.

Author: .:shakes her head:. Oh alright! You are allowed to curse anybody you wish as long as it isn't me or else I may forget that you're my favorite character!

Yui: And what the fuck do you mean by that?

Author: You know, I've been seriously thinking of pairing you up with Amiboshi-san, Nuriko-san or Hotohori-san and NOT trapping you with Suboshi-san…

Yui: .:blinks:. You are?

Author: Yup… that is, if you behaved yourself. But, what a shame! Under the circumstances…

Yui: .:in a sugary sweet voice:. You know, Ryuuen-sama, you really are the best fanfic writer I have ever known… .:in a whisper:. Even if you DID dress me up in Tomo's clothes in your first chap…

Author: Nani? What was that?

Yui: .:still in a sugary sweet voice:. Nothing. I was just saying how mush I loved wearing Tomo's clothes and how brilliant you were to have thought of that dare instead of something hentai for me.

Author: Why, thank you, Yui-san. I'm glad you think so. Shall we continue on with the fic now?

Yui: Hai.

Author: Oh, and by the way, Yui-san. 

Yui: Nani?

Author: You aren't supposed to converse with the narrator of a fic, aren't you?

Yui: O_O;; Hai.

Author: .:smiles:. Good. Now, as I was saying…

            The hills were a lush green, fringed with wildflowers and the clear early morning sky was a bridal flush of rose. 

Yui: .:evil glare while rubbing bare shoulders:.

Author: .:evil grin:. Oh Suboshi-san…

Yui: .:smiles sweetly:. -.-;;

              However, I will not go on talking about the sun, the farmers, the birds, the hills or any other component of nature…

Yui: .:sighs in relief:.

            For now…

Yui: o.O;;

            Since they have no bearing whatsoever in this part of the story aside from serving as an indication that it was indeed dawn. We are, however, going to focus on one of the early risers, as early as the aforementioned farmers and birds, who now stared at the rising sun from one of the ornate corridors of the Imperial Palace of Konan, clad in nothing more than her, well… sleeping garment. Hongou Yui, Seiryuu no Miko, stifled a yawn. For some _unknown _reason, she was hardly able to sleep that night. 

Yui: @ @

            She was about to go back into the room she shared with Miaka (now do you understand why she hardly got any sleep that night?) when suddenly, a door not far from theirs opened and out stepped…

Suboshi fan:      Suboshi-sama?

Amiboshi fan:    Amiboshi-sama?

Nuriko fan:       Either of those two bakas up there? .:points:.

Hotohori fan:    Nuriko? .:mumbles:. Just so he'd stop stalking Hotohori-sama… .:mumbles:.

            "Hotohori-san!"

Above-mentioned fans: Damn you, Ryuuen! .:are struck by lightning:.

Author: .:whistles nonchalantly and hands a smirking Soi a picture of a naked Nakago to torture Tomo with:. 

            The emperor of Konan looked up from his musing (which basically consisted of the litany, "I'm so beautiful, it's a crime. I'm so beautiful, it's a crime. I'm so beautiful, it's a crime…") and regarded his former enemy casually. "Yui-san, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"

            "I know," she sighed. "I just can't sleep with all the racket Miaka makes when she snores, not to mention her latching onto my arm as though it were some sort of chicken leg…"

            Hotohori sweatdropped. "I see. Demo why are you…" he blushed. 

Author: .:grins:. No comment!

             She blushed as well and tried desperately to cover herself up.

Anti-Yui fan: Why the hell does she bother? It's not like the whole world hasn't seen her naked, the slut!

Author: WHAT! DID! YOU! SAY?!?

Anti-Yui fan: I just said…

Author: DIE! DIE! DIE! .:chases after fan with Ryuuseisui:.

Suboshi: Ryuuen-sama! How dare you steal my Ryuuseisui? You who persistently tries to pull Yui-sama away from me! You who doesn't see the love we share with one another… .:said Miko twitches:. You who…

Author: Calm down, Suboshi-san. I'm just borrowing it to torture an anti-Yui fan.

Suboshi: Oh… okay…o.O

Author: Thanks… now where was I? Oh, yeah… DIE! DIE! DIE! .:chases anti-Yui fan:.

Anti-Yui fan: .:screams as author ties him/her/it up:. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: .: cackles ala Tomo:. KAKAKAKAKAKA!!! Face the wrath of the almighty Ryuuen!!! KAKAKAKAKAKA!!! .:places table in front of gagged anti-Yui   fan and slowly unveils what's hidden underneath:.

Anti-Yui fan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm MEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!

Author: .:cackles ala Tomo again:. KAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!! Never underestimate an insane sugar-high insomniac fanfiction writer!!! .:smiles sweetly at what… I mean, _who_ was unveiled:. Domo arigato gozaimasu, Taiitsukun-san!

Taiitsukun: Anytime. By the way, would you like to stop over for some tea after you're finished tortu… I mean, writing your fic?

Author: Gomen, Taiitsukun-san but I think I…

Yui: .:impatient look:. …

Hotohori: .:impatient look and nose bleed:.

Yui: .: mutters:. Hentai-minded authors…

Author: .:raises eyebrow:. Nani?

Yui: .:smiles sweetly:.

Author: Alright, Back to the fic…

            "No reason… I was just wondering how different dawn looks in Konan…" she stuttered looking away.

            "Oh… And how do you find it…" he managed to squeak out. 

            "It… suits your country…"

            The Emperor was surprised. "Nani?"

            "Well then, I guess I'd better go change now."

            "Yeah. Before Suboshi-san wakes up."

            Yui smirked. "Yeah."

            "Oh, and by the way. I'd like to speak with you for a moment if you don't mind…well, after you're dressed, that is."

            Yui quirked a brow as she entered their room and began to change. What would the emperor wish to discuss with her? Pulling off her sleeping garment, she was reminded that she promised to go horseback riding with Miaka to shop for goods that day so she pulled on a male Chinese outfit and walked out. The Emperor quirked a brow. "Yui-san… I thought last night was only a dare. I didn't know you were into the transvestite thing…"

            The miko twitched. "Gomen, Hotohori-san, if my outfit repulses you but I had promised to go horseback riding with Miaka today to pick up some stuff we're going to bring on the camping trip."

            Her companion frowned. "I didn't mean it THAT way…"

            "Well, then. What was it you wished to speak to me about?"

            He stopped and looked at her seriously. "Yui-san… err… it's about… err… two of your seishi…"

            She frowned. _Nani? Didn't I have Nakago give them explicit orders not to bother any occupants of the palace? _Regaining her composure, she nodded for him to continue.

            "Well, Yui-san… Nakago and Soi…" he trailed off.

            Yui's brow twitched. "Oh, I see. They were at it again last night and the noises bothered you."

            "Well, not _me_ particularly, just one of my chief advisers. He came complaining to me first thing in the morning about it, exclaiming about decency and morality… it wasn't a pretty sight."

            She nodded. "Hai. I'll try to speak with them though I doubt if they shall listen to me."

            "Domo arigato, Yui-s…"

            Hotohori trailed off as a pinkish blur whizzed past him and he toppled onto Yui upon the floor where they lay swirly eyed. 

            "Stop… the… world… want… to… get… off…" they muttered simultaneously.

            Behind them, a pillar erupted into flames as a half-naked Tasuki emerged threatening to fry a gloating Tamahome who was waving something frantically in the air. 

            "MIAKA!!! Help… save me… he… Nuriko…"

            "Damn it, obake-chan! Come back here! Rekka Shinen!!!" 

            Just at the moment, another door opened and the twins peeked out to find out what the commotion was all about. Chiriko then happened to pass by.

            "Yui-sensei, why are you and Hotohori-sama sleeping on top of each other on the floor? Was it mighty cold in your chambers?"

            All activity ceased as they looked at the two in question who quickly jumped up and coughed to cover their embarrassment.

Yui: .:mutters:. Embarrassed?! Me?! I don't think so!? Ingenious-best-friends-turned-archenemies-turned-back-to-best-friend-for-the-moment, as a rule, never EVER get embarrassed…

Ryuuen: .:twitch:. As you say so… Yui-san… .:double twitch:.

Hotohori: Umm… Yui-san… I think you should stop interrupting Author-sama before she forgets that you're her favorite character… You wouldn't want to find yourself suddenly in a lemon with a certain psychotic twin and his yoyos, who shall remain nameless…

Suboshi: .:twitch:. How many times should I tell you people that my ryuuseisui are NOT damn yoyos!? And get the f*ckng hell away from MY Yui-sama!?

Yui: Of course, Hotohori-CHAN… Whatever was I thinking?

All: Hotohori-CHAN?!

Hotohori: O.o

Ryuuen: .:triple twitch:. Minna-san… SHUT THE F*CK UP AND LET ME GO ON WITH THE FIC, WILL YA?! The story's going nowhere fast at the rate things are going…

Tamahomo: Wait a minute! This is a humor fic… There isn't supposed to be any plot to this! 

All: .:giggle:.

Tamahomo: .:looks around:. Hey, what's so funny? .:Reads fic written so far and does a double take:. What the!? RYUUEN-SAAAAAAN!!!

Ryuuen: Oops… Gomen… Typographical error…

Tamahome: ¬.¬ Yeah right… I don't think you're stupid enough to commit the same typo error twice…

Ryuuen: Why Tamahomo… err… Tamahome-san… Is it just me or did you just pay me a compliment? I'm touched… 

Tamahome: ¬.¬ 

Miaka: .:tugs at author's sleeve:. Umm… Ryuuen-san… Is THAT in the script? .:points to Hotohori and Yui making out in the corner with Amiboshi looking on wide-eyed and restraining a rabid Suboshi at the same time:.

Amiboshi: .:thinking about the kiss he shared with Yui the previous night:. Yui-sama… Doshite?

Ryuuen: .:twitch raised to the nth degree:.

Hotohori and Yui: .:continue to make out:.

Ryuuen: Umm… Hotohori-san… Yui-san…

Hotohori and Yui: .:pause for breath:. Hai?

Ryuuen: Would you PLEASE stop making out? That comes in later… NOT now!?

All: O.o It does?

Suboshi: .:launches into a long string of expletives not fir to be put down in print:.

Amiboshi: Author-sama… I thought…

Ryuuen: Oh, don't worry, minna… Everyone's gonna get some… .:evil glint in eye© Nakkie-poo:.

All: O.O We are?

Tasuki: .:joins Suboshi in his tirade:.

Hotohori: Umm… Ryuuen-san… Just what are you up to this time?

Ryuuen: Well… ^ ^

All: Well?

Ryuuen: Miaka-san, may I please speak with you for a minute…

All: .:fall over as Miaka skips to the author…:.

Ryuuen and Miaka: .:whisper: .:nod:. .:whisper:. .:giggle:. .:whisper:. .:grumble:.

Miaka: That was my stomach, minna… Gomen… ^ ^

All: .:sweatdrop:. 

Yui: .:clears throat:. Umm… Ryuuen-san… 

Ryuuen: .:genkily:. Hai, Yui-san?

Yui: Could we please get back to the fic NOW? All these somewhat-akugis-but-not-quite scripts are giving me a migraine…

Suboshi: Oh Yui-sama… if ever thy needs to faint, thou should fear nay… For thou love shall catch thee in his arms and… .:smack:.

Yui: .:dusts off hands:. Baka hentai…

Suboshi: Aniki… look at the pwetty wittle Tomo-the-homo-kuns… .:faints, thought it's not sure whether it's from Yui's punch or from an SD-Tomo overdose:.

Ryuuen: .:massages:. Y'know what, Yui-san? I think you're migraine's contagious…

Yui: .:hands her pills:.

Ryuuen: Domo… .:takes pills without reading the indications:. .:head crashes into the keyboard and stays there:. …

Yui: .:sweatdrop:. Um… Ryuuen-san… .:poke:. Ryuuen-san…

Tamahome: Is she dead?

Ryuuen: .:mumbles:. Yeah right!? You wish!? .:sniffle:. .:snore:.

All: O.o

Chiriko: Umm… Yui-san… Why did you give Ryuuen-san sleeping pills for her migraine?

All: .:fall over:.

            Alright, that was pathetic!? So, kill me!? I'm not in my right state of mind as of the moment… Gomen… However, you must look out for the third chap… I'm gonna make the seishi play another game in there… What is it, I'm not telling… I'm just sure you're gonna enjoy it…

Yui: Translation: Characters beware!

Ryuuen: .:glare:. Better translation… Read and review and tell me which naughty game do you think the characters should play… Until next chap!? At least, until the next REAL chap…

All: .:roll eyes:.

And now, for the lack of anything better to do, I've gone outta my way to answer a few of your special reviews that keep this fic and my writing in general going…

As of 4 May 2003

_Michiro-Shizume_         Thanks a lot for your support… Do you really think it's hentai? Well, never mind… At least you thought it was _funny_… That's the whole point to writing a humor fic, ne? Ne? ^ ^ 

_Cute                            _Hehe… Gomen… I wasn't really supposed to put this chapter up but my twisted sense of humor found it funny… Don't worry… The next REAL chaps would be somewhat like my first… At least I hope they'll be… Characters are really pretty hard to manipu- err… direct…

Tasuki: Direct my a**…

                                    Shut up or else it'd be _you, Nakago _and some handcuff in the Make-out Room®…

                                    Ahem… You like Hotohori-Yui? I'm rather biased to that pairing too… ^ ^ Isn't _that _obvious?

_Venus-oneechan          _.:glomp:. Wai! Wai! Wai! You think I'm crazy!? .:pause:. Wait a minute… Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hehe… Suboshi being poetic was quite funny… More characters? I'm thinking about cameos in the future…

_Ryven64                      _I'm glad you like my self-insertions… Few people do… .:cries:. Am I _that _bad?!

Entire Cast: (Hell) YES!!

                                    .:grumble:. I'm glad you liked the entire Tamahomo thingie… It really started out as a typographical error but when I reread my work, it was so funny that I didn't have the heart to erase it… And yes, I WILL continue… When? Now that's another matter altogether… Hope you could bear with this lazy author here…

_Daughter of Darkness_ Thanks…

_Mikazuki                     _Chibi-Chiri: .:glomps onto Chibi-Tasuki:. I wuv you!

Chibi-Tasuki: .:blushes:.

                                    Aww… Kawaii ne? I'm not sure just when I'm gonna update, though…

_Kari no Miko               _Umm… Does this count as an update?? .:sweatdrop:. Well, if you're asking for the next REAL chapter… Remember, patience is a virtue…

_Triple A                       _.:blush:. Did you mean me or Nuriko-sama? Domo arigatou nonetheless… I'm still thinking about whom to pair Yui with but the Tomo-Soi stuff sure as h*ll stays!

Chibi-Chiri: Oi, oi… You're beginning to sound more like Tasuki-kun, no da…

                                    .:blush:.

_Violamana_                   Funny and confusing? I guess that's me…

                                    Yui: You're forgetting stupid and terrible and lazy and dull and…

                                    Amiboshi: Yui-sama, do you think it's wise to prod Ryuuen-san further? You _did_ almost kill her up there… .:points to ending:.

                                    @ @ Anou… If you want to clarify anything, feel free to ask… Did I mention that this is my first attempt at humor?

_Star                             _Thanks for the multiple reviews… Wait up for the next REAL chapter… ^ ^

_Faerie_X                     _Interesting name… Gomen if things began to get redundant… I was kinda running out of ideas towards the end of writing the first chap… Answer to your question: Tasuki was thinking of kissing the persons who interrupted his fight with, and thus saving him from, Tamahome… And who were they? The Seiryuu seishi of course… ^ ^ 

Yui: .:rolls eyes:. Don't mind her… She's a moron… She's the wo-- .:is cut off:.

                                    Hotohori: .:cuts her off by placing his hand on her mouth and running away with her:.

                                    Suboshi: .:brandishing Ryuuseisui:. Give me back MY Yui-sama!

                                    Ahemm… Anyway… Yeah, I think Chiriko and Yui look kawaii together, well, platonically speaking that is… I'll try to put in a little of every pairing until I make up my mind whom to stick with, though… 

_Priestess Tokiko          _Gomen, Miko-sama… I don't favor Suboshi that much…

Suboshi: .:whimpers and begins to cry:. You're so MEAN, Ryuuen-san! Meaniemeaniemeanie! .:wails:. Aniki!\

                                    Amiboshi: .:comforting his twin:. It's gonna be okay, Shun-chan…

                                    Suboshi: .:realizes that his twin was one of Yui's prospected partners and jumps up:. Gah! Traitor! .:chases Amiboshi:.

                                    Amiboshi: .:is being chased:.

                                    Tamahome: I'm betting 200 yen he's gonna catch him in 10 minutes…

                                    Nuriko: Nah, make that 500 yen, 15 minutes…

_Digi-riven                    _Aww… Kawaii inu… I'll try to put up the REAL chapter soon, then… I just can't resist puppy dog eyes…

_Fushigi_ Yuugi            _Sorry… No Suboshi… Nakago… Well, now that you've mentioned it…

Nakago: .:somewhere minding his own business:. … .:feels a chill run down his spine:. That can't be good…

_Em-Chan                     _I'm glad it made you laugh… Don't worry… It cracked me up writing this too…

_Rachia                         _Really? Sugoi! .:bounces up and down:.

Miboshi: I never will understand her…

                                    Ashitare: Growrruruffraw… Arfgrowrooo… 

                                    Translation: Ditto…

_Aka-chan                     _.:blushes:. Thanks…

_Boogie                         _A truth or dare for Miaka? .:sheepish grin:. Well, I kinda neglected that… ^ ^ Okay, so I did it on purpose… She was the one who suggested the Truth or Dare game anyway…

Yui: And you say that _I_'m your favorite character!

_Chisato Madison         _Suboshi: Of course Yui-sama does not suck! Who said that… I oughta…

_Marzoog                      _Umm… Thanks… How are you're jaws, by the way?

_Spak-chan                   _Yep, Yui-sama is so cool! I like her that way… I also like Tomo and Soi but what can I say? I'm a mentally disturbed individual…

Tasuki: Not to mention mentally-challenged…

                                    Chiriko: Tasuki-san… I didn't know such a word could be found in your otherwise limited vocabulary of profanities…

                                    Tasuki: Say what? I was just doing Seiryuu-no-Miko-san over there a favor…

                                    .:sweatdrop:.

_Winter                         _You know what? I think I like you!? .:glomp:. Can you be my oneechan too?

_Vero-chan                   _Thanks… I'm glad people don't think my portrayal of Yui to be OOC… 

_Lilandra                      _.:sweatdrop:. 

_Beach Fradis               _The longer the better, eh? Well… I'll try…

_Mel                              _Thanks…

_Kye                              _Another Chiri-Tasuki fan, I see… You're kinda growing in number… Well, though that ain't the primary pairing, I'll see what I can do… They're kinda cute when you think about it though I think Nuriko and Tasuki also look cute together… ^ ^

_Uftaki                          _Thanks…

_Seshiri                         _.:bows:. I am honored by your review, Seshiri-sama! I'm quite a fan of yours…

_Arcanine                      _.:bows yet again:. Arcanine-sama! .:and again:. I love your work! Thanks for taking time to write me my first review… .:bows even more:.

With that said…

I'm out!

Cast: .:sigh of relief:.

For now… Bwahahahahaha!!

All: .:fall over anime style:.


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